EMOTIONS AS GUESTS
A question that comes up a lot in my office is:
How do I feel my feelings?
It can feel difficult, scary, or overwhelming to experience our emotions.
[needs a little more about emotions, what they are, why they show up, purpose of emotions]
The Guest House by Jalaluddin Rumi is a poem I reference a lot in sessions and it’s also how I like to approach taking care of my own emotions.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
— Jalaluddin Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks (The Essential Rumi)
If we treat our emotions as guests, how can we make sure we are being good hosts?
Two key pieces of being a welcoming, compassionate host for your emotions are two skills we learn in DBT: mindfulness and radical acceptance.
We can’t be responsive hosts if we don’t accept the guests that show up.
Radical acceptance means we accept what is happening, even if we don’t like it. Maybe you aren’t happy that the guest of anger or sorrow came to your door, but denying that they are there won’t make them go away.
Once you have accepted your emotions have arrived, practice being mindful of them. What sensations do you notice in your body? What thoughts or urges do you notice? What thoughts or feelings have these guests come with?
Sometimes our emotions aren’t guests we were expecting, but they still deserve to be acknowledged and have their needs met!
To learn more about how to practice Radical Acceptance and Mindfulness, join our Life Skills group! https://metanoiatherapy.com/lifeskills
