being enough (is perfectionism interfering?)
The desire to do something well is a great motivator in self-achievement, progress, and producing high-quality work. But what happens when we are so focused on improvement we find ourselves unsatisfied with everything we do? When that project you worked so hard on is finally completed, but all you can think about is all of your mistakes?
This is a sign that you may be developing PERFECTIONISM.
Because we often feel a lot of pressure to perform well, whether from our family, workplace environment, or social media, it can be hard to recognize when our desire to improve can be harmful. Being hypercritical, having low self-esteem, not enjoying life, feeling stressed, or worrying about being inadequate can all be signs of perfectionism. One of the worst parts of perfectionism is when we feel that we are deserving of this negativity because we are not as good as we could be. We can also impact those around us by feeling resentful when they do not meet our unrealistic standards.
Another downside of perfectionism is that we can spend so much time putting ourselves down, that it takes away from time we could be using to be productive, or just enjoy life. Procrastination is a common side effect of perfectionism, since the fear of failure can make it difficult to start or finish tasks. Looking at the bigger picture can help. Is the amount of time you are spending thinking or making changes on this presentation really impact how the audience will gather information?
When is it enough?
When are you enough?
The first step to recovering from perfectionism is to recognize when your expectations are unattainable. Are you ruminating over that job interview because you want to make a good impression, or are you putting yourself down for anything and everything that could go wrong? Are you really a bad person, or did you make a mistake? When you notice that you are beating yourself up, try pausing and evaluating this belief. Remember that these thoughts come from a good place, but they can cause harm if left unchecked.
It can be hard to maintain your motivation to succeed while avoiding self-criticism. One effective strategy is to allow yourself to feel proud of your accomplishments, regardless of any perceived shortcomings.
Recognize that although there may have been alternative approaches, what truly matters is that you took action and achieved your goals.
Keeping a list of completed tasks and rewarding yourself for each milestone can further reinforce a positive mindset.
Try to accept and learn from your mistakes rather than dwelling on them.
Even if that influencer you follow on social media seems to have their whole life figured out, we all have our imperfections, and it’s much easier to hide them online!
You don’t have to be perfect, you can just be enough.
If anything in this article resonated with you, consider scheduling a free consultation with one of Metanoia’s Therapists, or join our Life Skills group.
