MANAGING THE HOLIDAYS?
While some of us see the holiday season as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness, others can feel a deep sense of dread.
Whether you’re not on good terms with your family, have negative past experiences that happened around this time of year, or if you just have a lot of stress about the thought of large gatherings, the holiday season can bring significant stress and overwhelming emotions. These experiences are more common than you may think!
It is okay to accept the fact that you do not enjoy certain holidays and prioritize your self care to help you feel a little better during this stressful time.
Identifying triggers:
If you find yourself suddenly having intense anxiety, panic, numbness, or flashbacks to traumatic memories, there may be something in your environment that is triggering you. This is common for anyone who may have traumatic memories associated with the holiday season, and this does not necessarily mean that you cannot enjoy yourself during the holidays. Having the awareness of specific objects, sounds, smells, or activities that trigger your trauma is a great first step to taking care of yourself in the face of these triggers. If it is not possible to remove the triggers from your environment, you can significantly reduce the impact of the triggers by taking extra precautions to take care of yourself.
Prioritize your self care:
Holiday triggers or not, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care amidst the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Take breaks, get enough sleep, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's reading a book, taking a walk, or practicing mindfulness, make time for yourself to recharge and rejuvenate. Remember, you can better take care of others when you take care of yourself.
Setting boundaries:
When you find yourself reverting to old childhood patterns with family members, try to walk away for a minute and remember who you are now. It’s not necessary to play the same role as you did when you were younger, even if others are encouraging you to do so by their behaviors. If there is someone at the get-together who knows what you are like today, make sure to reach out to them and stick with them as best you can. Having that safe person present can make any other negative interaction much more bearable.
It’s also OK to say no when you’re asked to do more than you can. It’s fine to say no to some invitations and fine to say no to those asking for favors. Remember, this is your holiday, too! If you are feeling overwhelmed by all of your responsibilities and other’s expectations, it’s okay to take a break and remove yourself from the situation. If you anticipate that you might need a minute to recuperate at some point, try coming up with an exit strategy (or five!) to allow yourself some time for self-care.
Asking for help:
Don't be afraid to ask for help and delegate tasks. Taking the burden of responsibility for others only makes you feel resentful. It is okay to expect each person to contribute their share and feel involved whether through cooking, cleaning, or decorating. Collaborating not only lightens your load but also fosters a sense of togetherness and shared responsibility.
